Thursday, October 13, 2016

Hurdles

Hi all,


Hurdles are difficult...yes I'm talking about Track and Field hurdles. I remember trying to do hurdles in high school on the track during gym class. I got myself all pumped up and my heart was beating out of my chest. My face was sweaty and I just started to run towards the hurdle. I was feeling good. I was thinking the whole time (while I was running) that I was Adrian Wilson who cleared a 66 inch hurdle durning football practice. Then reality struck me as I stood centimeters from the hurdle that I couldn't even clear a 39 inch hurdle. I wasn't strong enough. I didn't have confidence to keep going and just try to clear the hurdle. The hurdle just stopped me in my tracks. When this happened I remember just laughing with my friends and moved on. But yesterday that hurdle was something emotional, something stirring inside of me. That hurdle was a bunch of doubt...I'll give you some context. Yesterday we went to downtown Tijuana to go on a prayer walk and give people water bottles. I was SO pumped about it. I was thinking all week long how great I'll be at this and how excited I was. I was still excited yesterday, but my emotions totally flipped once we got out of the van in Tijuana. I was experiencing a culture shock and an overwhelming sense of sadness. I couldn't compare any city in America to Tijuana. It was totally a change for me. As we started walking I just couldn't stop looking around and soaking it all in. The poverty, homelessness and amount of people I saw was unbelievably sad. But I continued on. We split into teams and started on our way. Our group first gave water bottles to three men and we prayed for them. I didn't talk. We then went to give water to two elderly men, once again I didn't talk. I just felt like I couldn't. We continued on. Every time a member of my group started talking to someone I just felt more and more doubt. Doubt that I couldn't be a missionary. I just kept thinking if I can't talk to strangers about Christ, how could I ever be a missionary? Durning the whole prayer walk that was engraved into my head that I couldn't do it. I just kept thinking, what am I going to do now? I want to be a missionary, but I can't do it. I just started to think God didn't have a plan for me anymore. I was stopped by a hurdle. But this time I didn't just laugh it off and move on. I cried. I just felt 2 feet tall and the hurdle of doubt was 6 feet tall. There was no way I could get over that hurdle. Well, thats what I thought for a good portion of the day. But then I remember that the devil will try and stop anyone who tries to spread the word of God. Satan will fill your mind with lies like, "Lauren you cant do this. You aren't strong enough. No one wants to talk to you." Thats so wrong!! With God I'm strong, I'm wise and I'm confident. With God I can be a missionary! I can jumped over that hurdle of doubt and never look back. I can tackle it. The roles will be reversed, satan will feel like 2 feet tall and because my God is so big I'll feel like I'm 6 feet tall. Satan can't jump over me. He can't! Once I got home from Tijuana I looked over my notes that I took from yesterdays lecture and that day we had been talking about hurdles that keep us from hearing God's voice and guess what the first hurdle was....doubt. Ugh, I couldn't hear God encouraging me during the prayer walk to keep going and to tell more and more people about Him because I was full of so much doubt. I allowed the enemy to fill my mind. Don't do that! I'm saying this to myself and you! Satan is a liar and he wants to steals things from you. You can tackle a 66 inch hurdle with God. Choose God.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Also! I wanted to tell you all how amazing our speaker is this week! Jen is amazing! She is such a women of God and I stinking LOVE it. The topic this week is Recognizing God's Voice. This is something that confused me as a Christian, but I'm really starting to understand it. Yes, I still have many questions, but Jen made hearing from God so real to me. Ah, I'm so giddy about it! And I can't wait to keep learning about my Creator and sharing it all with you guys!

Talk to you all soon,
Lauren

1 comment:

  1. Wow Lauren. You are really learning some super valuable lessons about our Creator. Love you honey.

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