Life on the other side

Hi all,

I just want to talk to you guys about our local outreach this week. This week our leaders had an original plan of where we were going to go for outreach, but the plans fell through. It was our job (as a team) to pray and see if God spoke to any of us on where we were supposed to go for local outreach. A lot of us got an image of the border. Some got pictures of sandwiches, or playing with kids or just evangelizing at the border. I happened to get a picture of bananas. Of course I didn't want to say that because I was thinking, what would bananas have to do with the border? I whispered to my friend Rachael what I got and she decided to say it out loud. I was embarrassed so I justified it by saying, "Its stupid and I have no idea what it means." We prayed again to ask God if the border is where we were supposed to go. Almost everyone got conformation and we started to plan what we were going to do at the border. Our leaders sent two guys to see if we could get sandwiches from the kitchen and others to get chalk, nails polish, etc.. I for one was still doubting that bananas had anything to do with our local outreach. The two guys who were sent to the kitchen to get sandwiches came back with bags of sandwiches and said that there is a crate full of bananas that would could take to the border...I WAS SHOCKED. Everyone looked at me and I just knew what everyone was thinking and it was something like Lauren have more faith. God is actually talking to you! That was a wakeup call. And I started to get really excited about going on our local outreach to the border.

This was my first time going to the border and it was eye opening....

To many Mexicans whats behind this border means the American dream. It means a new beginning and a life that they've been dreaming of for a long time. What broke my heart was that many would do whatever it took to get over this border and make their lives "better." What's behind this border may be more opportunity, more "freedom," and more life but the reality is America is lost too. Yes, Mexico does not have the same opportunities as the United States, but I can tell you one thing Mexico has shown me something America doesn't have much of and thats love. The way a Mexican family can make you apart of theirs in minutes is amazing. The potential here is incredible and my prayer for Mexicans is that they realize how much potential is here. I really pray that Mexicans see how blessed they are and how much they really do have in this country. This is Gods country and He loves Mexico so much. What I also love about Mexico is that when a few of us were walking by the border we asked some people if they'd like prayer and they said yes with no hesitation. They were so excited to get prayer! That's something you don't see often in America. I am thankful for where I come from and I do love my country, but my eyes have been opened to another country. And I love this country of Mexico so much, too. Mexico has made me realize how blessed I've been and the little things that I take for granted. One big thing is being on the American side of the border. I never really thought of the Mexicans on this side of the border, but now that I have my heart wants to show Mexicans that they can make a difference here. Man, my eyes have been opened so wide. I'm thankful God didn't make it possible for me to go to the YWAM in Australia because I don't think I would have had the some opportunities as I have in Mexico. God has shaken me and humbled me. I'm so thankful for that.

If you ever have the opportunity to come to Mexico, do it. It'll open your eyes. It will change you. Let God humble you, its worth it. 

Talk to you soon, 

Lauren  

Fear of the Lord

Hi all,

This week has been a BIG week! I found out that I'll be going to Indonesia for outreach!! How exciting!

I get to experience Indonesia with this amazing team and I can't wait to see how we all grow in unity together and in Christ. 

I also have made pretty amazing friends here. I'll introduce some of them...

First off is an amazing group of God loving, food loving and adventure taking women that I've grown to love to deeply...

I also get to laugh and enjoy life with these ladies....

Seriously....I've never loved life so much...

I also fell in love with a crab I found at the beach and I live by the motto it didn't happen unless you got a picture...so I thought I would share my enjoyment of finding a crab with all of you. Yes, its dead. I'm not that crazy! 

Now that you've seen what I've been up to and met a few of my friends I can start going into a serious mode. Okay, listos (ready)? This week during lecture we talked about the fear of the Lord. Before coming here I thought the fear of the Lord was that I actually had to be afraid of God and that I should be scared of Him. I was wrong. I shouldn't be afraid of God I should be running after Him wanting to know more and more about him. This weeks teaching was great, but I'm going to be honest...I still don't fully understand the fear of the Lord. Yes, I learned a deeper meaning of fearing the Lord, but it hasn't fully clicked with me yet. I've been praying that God reveals something to me that really speaks out to me about fearing the Lord. One thing I did learn about fearing the Lord is that when you do fear him you gain peace and comfort (Acts 9:31), wisdom (Proverbs 9:1), truth (Psalm 86:11) and protection (Psalm 115:11). Now all of that seems great to me. I want God to bring me peace, wisdom and protection. I'm just trying to figure out what fearing the Lord really means to me. Its a process. Another thing that happened in lecture this week was our speaker said she just felt from the Lord that there were a lot of people in our DTS who felt like they weren't good enough. She told us to stand up if we felt that way and we were all to pray and if staff felt like they needed to tell us something that they should. I stood up because I still struggle with my worth and thinking I'm not good enough. Even though I know God loves me and I'm His masterpiece I still struggle with it. But I stood up and my one-on-one came and prayed for me and she spoke words of encouragement and it was awesome. It was really an emotional yet amazing time. That is such a hard thing to do sometimes....To stand up and show people that you don't think you're worth it. I think if someone asked me in high school to stand up if I didn't think I was good enough I would've and I would have felt differently than I did when it happened this week. When I stood up this week and looked around at all the people there that loved me something changed inside of me. I was looking at my new family and I knew in my heart that to them and to God I was good enough. In high school I would not have felt that way. I'm so thankful that God has continually been speaking to me how much He loves me and how much he adores me. He's changing me and I'm loving this confident, God loving Lauren I'm learning to become. 

Thanks for reading,

Lauren 

Hurdles

Hi all,

Hurdles are difficult...yes I'm talking about Track and Field hurdles. I remember trying to do hurdles in high school on the track during gym class. I got myself all pumped up and my heart was beating out of my chest. My face was sweaty and I just started to run towards the hurdle. I was feeling good. I was thinking the whole time (while I was running) that I was Adrian Wilson who cleared a 66 inch hurdle durning football practice. Then reality struck me as I stood centimeters from the hurdle that I couldn't even clear a 39 inch hurdle. I wasn't strong enough. I didn't have confidence to keep going and just try to clear the hurdle. The hurdle just stopped me in my tracks. When this happened I remember just laughing with my friends and moved on. But yesterday that hurdle was something emotional, something stirring inside of me. That hurdle was a bunch of doubt...I'll give you some context. Yesterday we went to downtown Tijuana to go on a prayer walk and give people water bottles. I was SO pumped about it. I was thinking all week long how great I'll be at this and how excited I was. I was still excited yesterday, but my emotions totally flipped once we got out of the van in Tijuana. I was experiencing a culture shock and an overwhelming sense of sadness. I couldn't compare any city in America to Tijuana. It was totally a change for me. As we started walking I just couldn't stop looking around and soaking it all in. The poverty, homelessness and amount of people I saw was unbelievably sad. But I continued on. We split into teams and started on our way. Our group first gave water bottles to three men and we prayed for them. I didn't talk. We then went to give water to two elderly men, once again I didn't talk. I just felt like I couldn't. We continued on. Every time a member of my group started talking to someone I just felt more and more doubt. Doubt that I couldn't be a missionary. I just kept thinking if I can't talk to strangers about Christ, how could I ever be a missionary? Durning the whole prayer walk that was engraved into my head that I couldn't do it. I just kept thinking, what am I going to do now? I want to be a missionary, but I can't do it. I just started to think God didn't have a plan for me anymore. I was stopped by a hurdle. But this time I didn't just laugh it off and move on. I cried. I just felt 2 feet tall and the hurdle of doubt was 6 feet tall. There was no way I could get over that hurdle. Well, thats what I thought for a good portion of the day. But then I remember that the devil will try and stop anyone who tries to spread the word of God. Satan will fill your mind with lies like, "Lauren you cant do this. You aren't strong enough. No one wants to talk to you." Thats so wrong!! With God I'm strong, I'm wise and I'm confident. With God I can be a missionary! I can jumped over that hurdle of doubt and never look back. I can tackle it. The roles will be reversed, satan will feel like 2 feet tall and because my God is so big I'll feel like I'm 6 feet tall. Satan can't jump over me. He can't! Once I got home from Tijuana I looked over my notes that I took from yesterdays lecture and that day we had been talking about hurdles that keep us from hearing God's voice and guess what the first hurdle was....doubt. Ugh, I couldn't hear God encouraging me during the prayer walk to keep going and to tell more and more people about Him because I was full of so much doubt. I allowed the enemy to fill my mind. Don't do that! I'm saying this to myself and you! Satan is a liar and he wants to steals things from you. You can tackle a 66 inch hurdle with God. Choose God.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Also! I wanted to tell you all how amazing our speaker is this week! Jen is amazing! She is such a women of God and I stinking LOVE it. The topic this week is Recognizing God's Voice. This is something that confused me as a Christian, but I'm really starting to understand it. Yes, I still have many questions, but Jen made hearing from God so real to me. Ah, I'm so giddy about it! And I can't wait to keep learning about my Creator and sharing it all with you guys!

Talk to you all soon,
Lauren

I had a Revelation

Hi all,

I'm loving YWAM so much. I think I've met my people here....

Honestly, I've never felt more comfortable with friends before until I came to YWAM. All the ladies and gentlemen I've met in my DTS have shown me what real friendships can look like. They have also shown me what a friendship is like when you're all pursing God together. It changes a friendship. I've never been so vulnerable with people before until I met these awesome people. And I feel like I've known my new friends for years and its only been like 2 week. They're family now. 

I also get the pleasure of enjoying the beach and all the awesome things Mexico has to offer. Like Mexican blankets. I mean come on people Mexican blanket are so colorful and awesome.

We also get the pleasure to have AMAZING speakers every week. This week we are talking about the Father Heart of God. Our speaker is crazy good. I can really connect with his way of teaching. He loves to tell us about real life stuff. Like situations he's been through or his friends have been through and he bring it all back to the Father Heart of God. I just can connect with how passionate he is. Anyway, I've been having trouble in  lecture feeling like God wasn't speaking to me. Last week I just felt like God really wasn't speaking a revelation to me but holy moly He did speak a revelation to me today. One part of todays lecture our speaker talked about two things that satan takes away from us the first being our identity and the second being our relationship with God. I wrote that down in my notebook and continued to listen to the speaker. I didn't really process what I had written down until I sat down with my one-on-one. My one-on-one (Sky) asked me what had stood out to my during lecture today and I immediately thought about the two things that satan takes away from us, our identity and our relationship with God. I started talking to Sky and processed that for such a long time I was letting satan rule my life. I allowed satan to take my identity away and I allowed satan to distort how I viewed myself. I have struggled with self esteem since elementary school. Since than I allowed satan to tell me who I am and how beautiful I was. I allowed satan to tell me who I am and I allowed him to rule over my self esteem. As I was saying this to Sky I was also processing all the times I allowed satan to tell me who I was, I was processing how much of my life I've wasted on trying to convince myself that I wasn't beautiful or I wasn't worth it because satan took away my identity. I also allowed satan to take away my relationship with Christ. I always thought there was a God, but when I would really try to think about God I always felt doubt. I always allowed myself to believe what the devil was saying about God rather than trying to combat the devil. Sometimes the devil can be so convincing. I've experienced that for a big chunk of my life. Today, though, I felt God finally grip me and say,"Lauren, you see, you allowed the devil to take Me and your identity away from you. Change. Start new, you're a new creation." What a stinking revelation. After I realized that I'm not going to allow satan to dictate who I am anymore I felt such a relief. Like I can finally start to build my confidence IN CHRIST. I feel new. I also feel like its finally time for me to be baptized because I'm ready for God to take a hold of my life and change me for the better. I'm so thankful for YWAM and that I had the opportunity to finally have a revelation in Christ. THIS IS AWESOME!!

Also just soak in how cute the DTS team is...can't wait to amazing things with these people! 

Talk to you all soon, 

Lauren