Finally here

Hi guys,

I'm finally here in Mexico and I can't even begin to explain to you how much I love YWAM so far! The campus is absolutely beautiful.

 Pretty cool right and the view from our room is breathtaking....

See...its breathtaking. Honestly every morning so far I've woken up and walked to our door that looks out over the ocean and I get so giddy! It has always been a dream of mine to live at the ocean and here I am! I'm so blessed.

Anyway, the travel here was so tiring. My mom, Kari Damon and I woke up at 4:30 in the morning to catch my flight out of Philly at 7:50. We got to the airport and I'm pretty sure my mom parked about 5 miles away from my terminal. I needed the exercise anyway. I was so excited that the day I've been waiting for finally came! It was so surreal. I also felt like such an adult because I was flying ALL BY MYSELF. Which was a big step for me. I had a layover in Houston and than I was on my way to San Diego to get picked up by someone from YWAM. San Diego is beautiful. From the plane it just looked amazing. It's not as green as Pennsylvania. It's not even close, actually. But it was something new and I LOVED it. When I got off my flight I met Ross from YWAM and instantly felt super comfortable and excited I wasn't nervous, at least not yet. Ross and I went met up with Kari and Mandi who also work for YWAM and they were great! We waited for a few more students to get off their flights and than we were off to Mexico. I think my first friend here was Issac. He was just so sarcastic and funny and we instantly became best friends or at least that's what he said. After a short ride through San Diego and across the border we were finally in Mexico! Honestly, you could tell right away that you crossed the boarder. It was sad. Kind of a culture shock. After about 20 minutes of driving we arrived to our new home. 

That night I got to meet a lot of the girls that I would be rooming with and it was great! But once I got onto campus I started to get nervous. All the excitement shifted into nervousness.  I was afraid no one was going to like me or I wouldn't make any friends. As I was talking to a few of the other girls I realized I wasn't the only one feeling this way. One of the YWAM staff members, Kayla, told us evil will try and tell you lies. Evil will make you feel this way because evil doesn't want you to be here. Satan doesn't want you to become close with God and he will put lies into your head. Which is crazy true and later that night I was reading my devotion and the Bible verse in my devo said, "Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail." 

Luke 22:31-32  

While I was reading that I just had one of those moments of complete and utter shock. Like YES God, you've got my back and you want me here! And that is just the beginning of the things I've seen God do in these past couple days. But you'll just have to stay tuned for more. I can't wait to keep updating you all on what I'm doing here at YWAM and what I'm learning. Thank you everyone for praying for me. You're great.

Talk to you soon,

Lauren 

  

Anxiety

Hi all,

I would like to talk to you about whats going on in my head right now. I leave in less then two weeks...even typing that gives me anxiety. I'm full of so many emotions at the current moment. Fear, excitement, anxiousness and much more. I thought I would share with you all that is going through my head before I embark on this journey....

I first want to start out by saying I am excited about this mission trip. I'm SO excited, but with that being said its expected to have some nervous about being away from my comfort zone for such a long time. Earlier this year I started taking anxiety medication for social anxiety  (which some of you are probably confused about because I talk to people way too much), but its true. I used to be so afraid to talk to people because I was terrified if they would like me or not. If you asked me about two years ago if I loved going to parties and hanging out with tons of people I would say yes because thats the person I wanted to be not the person I was. I would pretend to be someone else because I convinced myself that if I wasn't that person that people wouldn't like me. My anxiety ate me alive. It controlled who I was. Thankfully I finally came to terms with myself and realized that I had been denying that I had anxiety for years and I finally did something about it. I started with a medication and life seemed to be a little more upbeat. I started to have fun, actual fun. I started to be Lauren because the anxiety didn't control me as much anymore. Day by day the mask of anxiety that I had been wearing around for years started to come off. I talked to God about my anxiety a lot. I was frustrated with Him because I had anxiety. I wondered why it was me. Why could't this anxiety be given to someone else? I had to put anxiety on my list of things that are wrong with me. As the mask of anxiety started to peel off of me so did the outlook I had on it. Instead of blaming God for this, I should thank him. I should thank Him because God gave me something many others have to deal with, but I can be a witness that you can beat anxiety. With God anxiety seems so small. I need to remember that too. God is SO much bigger than my anxiety and He's not going to let me go through this battle alone. Ever.

 I was going to use this blog to express to you about my anxiety I'm having over this mission trip, but when I read and then reread what I typed about that God will never let me go through this battle alone I felt some sort of peace about my mission trip.  All this anxiety I'm feeling about packing, saying goodbye to my family and having to make new friends doesn't seem as big as it did about 20 minutes ago when I was talking to my mom.  I think what I've realized while writing this blog is that I need to just trust God. He's in control. He knows the plans for my life. He's got my back. I don't need to worry.

If you're struggling with anxiety about life or social anxiety just remember God has a purpose for you. Don't dwell on things that are out of your control. Learn to be yourself and don't wear a mask. It's not worth it. Always ask God for help because trust me I know what anxiety can do to you. Hopefully you know your worth in God.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 

26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 

27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 

29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 

30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 

31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 

32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:25-34

thanks for reading,

Lauren 

21

Hi all,

Holy guacamole its been a while. I can't even begin to explain to you how busy my summer has been since the day I graduated from high school. Lets just say there were a lot of lives I needed to guard this summer. Everyday was a day by the pool, but not in the pool just guarding the pool, unfortunately. Honestly, this summer has been the best summer I've had in YEARS. Actual years. This summer I really focused on working on myself and learning to love me for who I am. I think I've done pretty well with all of that. I also learned to let go of high school and move on in life. I've made some pretty awesome friends at work this summer. Everyone I work with has basically become family (mainly because we all feel like we see the Hotel Hershey crew more than our own families). This summer is what I've been needing. My mom has always said, "Lauren trust me when I say that the people you meet after high school are going to be different," and she was right... The friends I've made this summer have been the best friends I think I've ever made. They love me for me. They're honest. They love to have fun. They're just great. While I'm sad that the summer is coming to an end and I'll have to say goodbye to my job, what is coming next excites me more than ever before.

Twenty one days. Let that sink in. Less then a month. Only three weeks away. Twenty one days until I embark on my mission trip. Holy crap. Ah! Woohoo! Wow time flies. I remember thinking, Oh my gosh this mission trip is so far away and than I blinked and its only 21 days away. I'm so excited for this new chapter in my life. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me. I'm excited to meet new people and experience life with my new friends. I'm excited to be out of my comfort zone. I think being out of your comfort zones makes you a stronger person. Though I will miss my comfort zone of my family and my puppy,  it'll be an experience I'll never forget.  And I'm SO excited!

Lastly, I would like to thank everyone who has kept me in their prayers. The prayers paid off. I've raised all the money I needed to go on the mission trip!! What an answer to prayers. I have the BEST support system. Thank you again.

Talk to you soon,
Lauren